Master Cleanse Day 13 - Hallelujah!

The day has finally arrived. We have finished our Master Cleanse. I can't believe we actually made it for 13 days. To be honest I can't believe I made it through the last two days which had to have been the worst.

I have not been hungry once during this cleanse until today. It's like my body knows it's going to get to eat tomorrow and it's ready. We do have to ease into eating, or ease out of the cleanse - however you want to look at it. Tomorrow we will have fresh squeezed orange juice during the day and fresh fruit for dinner. Most sites and blogs I have been to recommend just having juice for a few days, but poop on that. We both want food. This is how we eased off last time and it was just fine.

I feel really good right now - about myself and physically. It really feels like an accomplishment to have completed this and I feel emotionally energized to do some great things this year. Honestly, I don't think I have felt this good in a long time.

While the juice part of the cleanse is over, the cleanse itself is not. It's going to stay with us as we ease back into eating and from now on as we focus on putting only healthy things into our bodies. I have our whole menu planned out for the next few weeks, which I will write about later. For now I think I am going to hit the hay and knowing that I really accomplished something and that tomorrow I will get to have something other than lemon juice, syrup and cayenne pepper.

Master Cleanse Day 12 - A Poopy Day

Up until today I have been doing fine on the Master Cleanse. After the first couple of days it didn't bother me at all. In fact, I said to Joey last night, "I could go another week on this." Not after today.

Today was above and beyond the worst day I have had on this cleanse. My body is releasing a ton of toxins and what's coming out of me is gross. I thought I would be past this by now, but apparently not.

This morning, after going to the bathroom about eight times, I figured it was safe to go downstairs to feed the birds. Right as I got down there I had to go. Our downstairs bathroom is being painted so the toilet is out. So, I had to run upstairs. Guess what? I didn't make it. That's about all I need to say about it.

All day today I have felt a bit out of it and I will say that I am ready for this cleanse to be over. Even though it probably would be good for me to go another week, I am just not into it. Not one little bit. My tastebuds are organized and they want fruit on Friday and their going to get it!

This has been good for me, but all good things must come to an end. One day left. Let's hope I don't go out with a bang.

Master Cleanse Day 11 - Nerves of Steel

Last night I came home and the house smelled like someone was baking cake. I thought it was just my food obsession taking over. As I walked up the stairs the smell got stronger. I thought Joey must be really eager to eat this weekend and started baking early. No, he can't be baking. We are on a cleanse.

I got to the kitchen and sure enough, there was Joey with a huge pumpkin right out of the oven. He was roasting pumpkin for puree. What a crazy thing to do when you are on a cleanse. We've had these pumpkins for months and they were still good. Joey hates to see things go to waste so he decided it was time to roast them. I think he just wanted to get out of painting the bathroom.

Since the pumpkins were there, I offered to puree them. I thought it would be hard to be around food, but you know what it wasn't. I was able to puree the entire pumpkin, four jars worth, and not even taste it. Now that's nerves of steel.

I was feeling pretty proud of myself until this morning when I went to the kitchen at work to put my delicious lemonade in the refrigerator. I had forgotten it was bagel day. Up until this point seeing food or smelling it didn't bother me. Today those bagels got me. BAM! I cannot tell you how much I wanted one. A delicious toasted bagel with salmon and cream cheese spread. Now I know how Superman feels when he is near kryptonite. My nerves of steel were gone. It was almost enough for me to finish the cleanse early. But, I didn't. I went right back to my desk and finished the day without incident.

Needless to say, I am ready for the cleanse to be over. Eleven days is a really long time and I want to eat food. I think part of the problem is that I know it's almost over and I am ready. My body isn't though. I am still releasing God knows what. I would really like everything to be gone by the time we are done, so three more days it is.

Yesterday I was telling Joey I could go another week. I take that back. I'm no Superman and I want a bagel.

Master Cleanse Day 10 - Dream a Little Dream of Me

I have dreaming about my current love…FOOD. I am obsessed with it. I dreamt my friend gave me a maple donut with bacon to save for later and the next thing I knew I had eaten half of it. Of course I felt badly, but it was sure good.

This obsession with food is getting out of control! I have now planned our meals for the next month. Now I am just looking for variations in case I missed something.  Things come and go off the list, but I pretty much know what February will look like food wise. Something could change, though. You never know what I might discover in the next three days.

After 10 days of the cleanse I am ready for it to be over. I am not hungry or anything, I just want to have real food. I want to cook something. I want to chew on something. I want to taste something different other than lemonade, syrup and Cayenne pepper.  We only have three days left, so I can bite the bullet and make it until Friday.

I am still feeling really good. My mood is up and I have lots of energy. I am not concentrating any better than before, but two out of three isn't bad. There is still stuff coming out of me and it still continues to shock me that there is anything left. Where was it hiding?  I don't want to know. All I know is that I want it all out before Friday, because no matter what come that day I am going to eat!

Master Cleanse Day 9 - Tea Time

As part of the cleanse, each night before we go to bed Joey and I have a hot cup of Smooth Move tea. Smooth Move is a senna tea which stimulates the intestines to help with the elimination process. The whole idea of this cleanse is to get all that stuff out of our bodies and Smooth Move sure help do that.  Not like a title wave, but in a very gentle way.

I actually like this part of the cleanse. After drinking the lemon concoction all day I am ready to taste something different. This does the trick. It's warm and it's something different. At this point of the cleanse that's a very welcome treat.

Both Joey and I are feeling great right now. We have tons of energy, are in good spirits, and are ready to face the last four days of this. After conquering the weekend the weekdays should be a breeze.  Let me tell you though, we can't wait to have fruit on Friday!

Master Cleanse Day 8 - A Real Lemon

We have just about finished up Day 8, but we have not finished trying to make this drink more interesting. Yesterday we tried limes, but could not taste any difference. Today we tried two versions of the drink. One with regular lemons and one with Meyer lemons. Was there a difference?  YES!  They drink with the Meyer lemon was much sweeter and smoother.  Well, if you could call this stuff smooth. So, there you go. Meyer lemons taste better.  But honestly, it doesn't matter - we are still on a cleanse and are still kind of sick of this stuff.


On a good note, we both feel great and have tons of energy. I worked in the garden all day and Joey prepped for painting downstairs. We both are fine. I think I actually feel better on the cleanse than before. Hopefully eating well will keep this energy up.

My body is still releasing a good amount every morning and that really surprises me. How much more could be in there? When will my insides be clean and pretty? If I remember correctly even on day ten last time I was still releasing toxins, so let's see what happens with the extra two days this time.

I have to say coming this far I see no reason that the rest of the cleanse will be all that hard. I am so happy I did this and am excited to see the results at the end.

Master Cleanse Day 7 - One Week Down

...and six days to go. Can we do it? You betcha! If we have come this far, we can certainly go for six more days. In my head I just break it up as two days on the weekend then only four days after that. Easy, right? Actually, it kind of is...now.

It seems that once you get to a certain point on the cleanse it isn't a chore anymore. It's just what you are doing. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to eat (I am obsessed with food right now), but not eating isn't hard. Joey and I even went to the movies tonight and with all honesty, the popcorn didn't bother me.

I am feeling really great. My movements are all in the morning, which is nice. However, there are many and I can't go far from the bathroom at all. I'm still flushing things out, which amazes me. How could there still be stuff in my body after seven days?!!!

My mood is very good, which is unusual. I got a little grouchy early in the day and then I realized I had forgotten to have any lemonade. Once I drank it, my mood was fine. I have a little anxiety, but that's not the cleanse that's me. However, I am able to handle it much better now.

I have tons of energy. We walked to the theater tonight, which is about 30 minutes, and I felt great. I do have a hard time falling to sleep at night, which is one of the few negatives I am experiencing on this cleanse.

So, what's the best thing? I have lost 11 pounds! If I could lose 11 more I'd be thrilled, but I won't be greedy - I'll settle for just 9.

Master Cleanse Day 6 - Where's Mrs. Butterworth?

We just finished six days of the cleanse and let me tell you, we are bored with lemon, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper. If this is all we are going to have for another whole week, then we are going to change things up a bit and have some fun! Tonight we had a little taste test of three maple syrups:

• Trader Joe's 100% Pure Vermont Maple Syrup
• Trader Joe's 100% Pure Maple Syrup 
• Kirkland 100% Pure Organic

As you can tell this isn't a fancy taste test.  No expensive syrups for us. However, it's key that they are all 100% pure.  You see, the syrup provides a lot of vitamins and nutrients that allow you to go without food for the duration of the cleanse. If you didn't have this syrup you wouldn't be able to do it. We've already gone through over 2 quarts of syrup so why not see which we like the best?

Well, there isn't really a huge difference.  The Vermont is a little darker and richer. The other Trader Joe's syrup is sweeter. The Kirkland is the thickest, with a flavor in between.

Does it make a difference in the drink? Nope. It still tastes the same. Changing the syrup doesn't really do anything. So, get whatever you want, just make sure it's pure.

We both free great at today. I had tons of energy and I am finally sleeping well. My body pushed out the last of it's solids today and I feel lighter. So far I have lost 11 pounds on this cleanse. I am starting to see it's positive effect on me.

What's next for us? Well, another week of the cleanse. Tomorrow night we are going to try adding one or two limes to the mix. Now that should spice things up!

Master Cleanse Day 5 - Me want COOKIE!

...and pizza, mac & cheese, tomato soup, and pumpkin pie!  and....

I am obsessed with food right now. I am not hungry at all and my energy level is better than before the cleanse. I just am obsessed with food. First, it was crab legs. Next, Middle Eastern pasta with yogurt sauce, then butternut squash mac & cheese. After that saag paneer, and finally I ended today being obsessed with okonomiyaki.

I have planned all our meals for the entire two months after the cleanse. I have a list on my computer that I am keep track of things I want to make. Then, I search through recipes until I find just the right one. You can guess what we are having. That's right - crab legs, Middle Eastern pasta with yogurt sauce, butternut squash mac & cheese and saag paneer. I already know how to make okonomiyaki so I found a restaurant that serves it. No easy task outside of Japan.  Believe it or not I found one right here in Daly City.

Anyway, you can see where my head is. In some strange way, though, it's comforting to plan our meals and think about what we are going to eat and when. Not planning is kind of what got us into this cleanse in the first place. We both started eating whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted it. When you don't have to plan then you just do what you want. What we wanted was not healthy. That's why we are doing this cleanse. To clean all that crap out of our bodies (literally) and start fresh. If we plan our meals we have a much better chance of reaching our goals. We are also sure to eat more healthily. So, I guess my food obsession is kind of good in a way.  Now, where can I find a recipe for low-fat, vegan peanut butter cookies?

Master Cleanse Day 4 - The Work Day

Today was our first day back to work after starting the cleanse. I was a bit worried about how the day would go, but it was fine. Actually, it was easy. I think it was probably easier for me than Joey. While there is food at my office, I am far enough away from the kitchen that I could ignore it. Joey's company, however, provide a horn o' plenty of food, including daily lunch. That's tough.

In order to have enough lemonade for the day, we prepare it the night before and store it in water bottles for the next day. It really saves time and since Joey leaves for work at 4 am, it's necessary. I prefer making one big batch all at once than making one glass at a time. That is too fiddly for me.

My body wasn't as busy today as the past few days. This morning it was after the salt bath, but nothing really for the rest of the day. Of course now I worry, but the last time I wished for a magical movement I felt cursed. As they say on Once Upon a Time, "Magic always comes at a price."

Master Cleanse Day 3 - Be Careful What You Wish For

Yesterday I was waiting for that magic movement. I waited and waited and when it came I was delighted and so thankful I couldn't wait for more. Well, I got more. LOT'S more.

It started last night where I was up until about 3 am doing my business over and over and over again. The minute I would get comfortable my stomach would rumble and I knew better than to toot. Off to the restroom I would go. It wasn't magic anymore.

I am super tired today, but I am not sure if it's the cleanse or the fact that I was up so late (we go to sleep at 10 at the latest). It could also be the fact that I was in the garden most of the day and I was working pretty hard. My movements have stabilized and all is good in the world.

If I have the same experience tonight I am going to skip the tea for awhile. Hopefully, it was just a fluke or maybe the Universe just really wanted to make my wish come true.

Master Cleanse Day 2 - Felt Like Poop Til I Pooped

Today started off rough. I had crazy-weird dreams last night. I don't know if that's because of the cleanse or watching the season finale of Fringe followed by Downton Abbey.  Maybe a little bit of both.

Last night we had our Smooth Move tea. A huge part of the cleanse is to keep things moving and this seems to really help.  It didn't last night. I woke up feeling bloated which was the perfect feeling before I drank my quart of salt water. Mmm mmm good! The salt water is supposed to work it's magic in about an hour, so when no magic was a happenin' after an hour and a half I was very discouraged. Not to mentioned more bloated than before. I felt like I had an ocean inside of me and someone had secretly put a cork in me. That or the little Dutch boy had his....okay that just sounds dirty. You get the picture.

I was feeling pretty horrible, so I had some more tea.  At that point I didn't care. I wanted movement.  There was no use moping around the house so Joey and I went to have lunch with his mom. Let me tell you I almost nabbed that chicken right off her plate, but I didn't. I politely drank my Lemonade, Syrup, Cayenne Yum (LSCY) and tried to ignore the fact that I felt like a water balloon.

On our way home we stopped at the nursery and something magical happened. Yes, the little Dutch boy pulled out his finger and I wanted to sing and dance.  Well, not really dance, I was kind of busy.  I tell you, though, I did feel better. Much, much better.

By the time we got home I really felt great. I had more LSCY and went out and worked in the garden for the rest of the day. I didn't need to run upstairs once and honestly, I had and still have lots of energy.

I went back and read my blog from four years ago and pretty much the same thing happened. I felt bad in the morning and great by the end of the day. I wasn't quite as vivid when I wrote back then, so I am not sure of the exact events, but it was probably something similar.

So, lesson for Day 2 - You'll feel poopy til you poop!

Master Cleanse Day 1 - Life with Grouchina

Today Joey and I started our second go at the Master Cleanse.  Yes, this is the cleanse where all you have is fresh lemon juice, pure maple syrup and cayenne pepper.  This provides you with all the nutrients you need while flushing out those nasty toxins in your body. It's not intended for weight loss, but it does have that effect.  The last time we did it, I lost 20 pounds in ten days.  That was four years ago.  One of the hardest thing about doing this cleanse or any cleanse in timing.  You have to plan well.

Since we have a three-day weekend we figured this would be a great time to start. We have no social events coming up, no commitments, no visitors.  We have two completely free weeks to drink our way to health.

Everyone seems to have an instant opinion on this cleanse.  Most people that know absolutely nothing about it will tell you it's not good for you and dangerous.  Well, to them I suggest they read up on it. Back when we first didn't there weren't many blogs on it, but now there are tons. Since it was harder for me to get information back then I asked my doctor and she said it was fine for ten days to two weeks and if I felt even slightly bad to stop and go see her.  I didn't end up seeing her during my cleanse. It went just fine.

Each day of the cleanse starts off with a inner salt water bath. You mix two teaspoons of pure sea salt with a quart of warm water and drink it down. The first time I ever did it I thought I would gag.  I couldn't drink the whole thing.  Today it wasn't so bad. I guess I knew what to expect.

The lemonade mixture is not that bad. It kind of tastes good.  I also already knew what to expect here.  What did I not expect?  I am GROUCHY.  Honestly, it's a good thing I am doing this in the privacy of my own home because Grouchina has moved right in! I am also hungry. I really want to eat. I know both these things will go away in about three days. I do remember them happening, I just didn't expect them to happen again. I have to admit I am having a harder time starting this than I remember, but I am bound to stick with this.  All I have to remember is that this is only two weeks of my life and once I am done, I will feel wonderful!

So, one day down, 13 more to go!